give it to me.

[aimeekitty]

if you were told you had a father who basically was responsible for your mother's death, was violent...

and they both died before you can remember

and you grow up alone with only an old woman as your sarrogate parrent...

what would your personality be like?

do people become reclusive and untrusting becuase they have had bad experiences?
or becuase its the way their brain works (ie their spin on what they see?)

feel free to tell me a ton of what you think cuase I need some different perspectives on this for a character I'm trying to script. and well, I just haven't "been there".

Comments

[wogs.livejournal.com]

Hmmm....although I think 'nurture' plays a large part of who you are, I think 'nature' plays an equally important part.

I was raised by two VERY loving parents. They have been married 36 years and still hold hands in public. Although they rarely tell me that they love me, they show it on a regular basis. Despite all off that, I am incredibly reclusive and just as untrusting. I do not like meeting new people. I am quite terrified of it actually. I prefer to be alone. I usually sit in corners away from crowds. I do not even trust my own parents. Experiences with so called 'friends' growing up have forced me to 'realize' that you can't trust anyone but yourself...but even then, I didn't really trust them to begin with.

Kind of odd...but you asked! ^_~

[aimeekitty.livejournal.com]

guess it kinda depends huh?

I just like getting into it. I wonder if my character would be ultra reclusive since he has never really been around people... or if he would be almost overly trusting since noone has ever really hurt him.

hrm... well, not counting his parents anyway.

[purrbaby.livejournal.com]

I guess a lot would depend on two things:

1) How kind the old woman was
2) At what age the character was told about the nature of his/her parents

If the woman was kind and the child was not told about his/her parents, I could see him/her growing up fairly well-adjusted. Perhaps a bit more on the reclusive side due to having only one parent-type figure and because that person was of two generations back instead of one. If the character is a girl and she finds about about her father before she has a significant relationship, I think she'd be very distrusting of men.

I don't know, there are a lot of different directions that can be taken depending on different things. I do believe a bit more in nuture than nature though if that helps any...

[aimeekitty.livejournal.com]

I think its kinda a combination of nuture and nature...

I think even people in bad situations can, through choices, end up alright. but then that's my limited perspective :)

the character is male btw, if that helps any. the old woman I think would be very kind and protective of him, she's cared for him since he was young, and could be counted as saving his life. the main character btw, is also deformed in a way.
the only person he's really had any significant contact with was this old woman. she dies when he's a teenager I'm thinking becuase of their age difference. then he lives alone for probably about a decade at least.

[purrbaby.livejournal.com]

Hrm. I should clarify on the nature/nuture things first I think.

I agree, it's a combination. But I think that nuture has the greater possibility of affecting someone's development in life than nature. Nature is there; it just exists. But throw environment into the picture and, unless a person's nature is located at the extreme ends of the spectrum, the average person is going to be more greatly influenced by the manner in which they are raised. I am like Jess in that I grew up in a very loving household but have turned out rather reclusive and untrusting. However, if that trait hadn't been so strong in me, I probably would have been more swayed by my environment. Yes?

Anyway, so, decide first what your character's innate nature will be and then go from there. How would living in insolated environment affect that? Having an elderly guardian? Having that person die semi-early in their life? Again, I think a big factor would be when he found out about the nature of his parents death. If he was young, I think it would kil his innocence. If older, he would continue to be mcuh more naive about the world. However, being told older, he might not have completely dealt with the event yet. Also, since it was his father who was violent, he might be concerned that he would end up that way as well. Therefore, he would most likely be distant towards others, never wanting to get himself into the position where he might hurt them.

[aimeekitty.livejournal.com]

"Also, since it was his father who was violent, he might be concerned that he would end up that way as well. Therefore, he would most likely be distant towards others, never wanting to get himself into the position where he might hurt them."

I think you've really hit the nail on the head there. The only person who could have told him would be the older woman, which would mean that he found out relatively young.